I have had a rough couple of months when it comes to my training and diet. I have been dealing with some aches and pains, which has kept me from running much at all. During the peak of my training, I would have thought this would be heaven. I was wrong.
About the injury: I’m not exactly sure what it is. I get an aching, throbbing pain in my lower calf when I run and also after my runs. At first I thought it was Achilles, since that was SO TIGHT and nagging me months back. Then I thought it was plantar fasciitis because my heel would also hurt. Now, I’m thinking Soleus.
Regardless of the injury, the bottom line is that I have not been running. Maybe 8 times in the last 2 months. This obviously means no races have been on the calendar. Hence, no training schedule. What does this all add up to? One unhealthy mindset for this girl.
When I finally got onto the trails a couple weeks ago, my mind became so clear. That kind of clearness that only runners know of. And as most runner/bloggers know, I had a stellar blog post written out in my head. Word for word. It was amazing. Then weeks passed, and it never got put on paper. So, here’s my half hearted, untrained, unedorphined attempt at replicating that post.
When I was training for my 50 miler I spoke a lot about how healthy I felt when it came to my diet. For once I was using food as energy. Eating to live, not living to eat. Food meant fuel. Calories meant energy. I was worried about bringing in ENOUGH calories, instead of counting calories to try to bring in LESS. I was eating whatever I wanted and had the healthiest self image that I’ve ever had.
Now’s when I’ll get real. When I’ll tell you things you may not know. What you see and what I see when it comes to my body is way different. I have always seen myself 10-15lbs heavier than I am. Even when I was really fit and placing top 3 in races, I would tell my husband, “I feel like people must say, ‘I can’t believe that heavy girl runs so fast”.
However, when I crossed the finish line of my 50 miler I felt like I belonged there. I was fit, trim and healthy. Now, 6 months later I am battling the thoughts and images that belonged to my old self. The self I thought I lost on those trails, grinding it out in pursuit of that 50 miler dream. The diet is no longer a non-issue. It is back to being a battle. I workout usually 5+ times a week, but I’m not training for anything, and that’s where I think the issue lies. No races on the schedule. That’s tough. I need that. I need a goal. I think everyone does.
So, time to figure it out. How do I develop that 50 miler self image and “eating to live” mentality when I am injured and not running? I will guess this will be as tough of a grind as those back to back long runs at Case Mountain!