A little different blog post today. One that speaks from my heart rather than just an update of where I am/what I’m doing. This is another type of update of “where I am”. One that is way more important than the location of my physical being, but rather where I am mentally. Because, as we all know, “wherever you go, there you are.” It doesn’t matter if I’m in Connecticut, South Carolina, Florida, France, or Switzerland. What stays with me no matter where I am is this head of mine. With this wandering being comes a wandering soul. A wandering mind. And if my soul, my thoughts, and my physical being are not in harmony, then there is no true happiness
That quote, “wherever you go, there you are” is a quote I always use to ground myself. It is so easy to browse the Internet and go on Pinterest and be swept away to these small villages in Tuscany, the magical mountains of Switzerland and think, “that’s what I need. If I could just go there I would be happy. I would be free of all this stress and anxiety and just live with no worries.” I can even go as far as picturing my daily routine at these places. I can really FEEL myself being stress free.
However, deep down I know the truth. I know that WHEREVER I GO, THERE I AM. I create these stresses and anxiety and an Italian Villa won’t magically erase it. I need to get deep down to the pit of the cause of the anxiety and stress. It is self-imposed and only I can fix it. And the truth is, I think I am getting closer and closer to figuring it out.
I do a lot of “self-help” exercises daily. I do Transcendental Mediation and Yoga. I use my Law of Attraction cards for my daily intentions. I constantly refer back to many books such as The Alchemist, The Untethered Soul, etc. I journal and sketch and have had amazing luck with visualizing through those things as well as vision boards. I have been so inspired through others blogs and journeys on the Internet and I can honestly say that it has changed my life.
However, it is still a daily battle. The battle of over-thinking and stressing over things. The battle of being a perfectionist and having expectations of how things should be and go. I can turn any relaxing environment into a stressful one in my own head. Part of this journey has been trying to find that peace within. I knew it wasn’t going to take a week in a camper in the mountains to fix 34 years of habits. But, I did know that getting away from the comforts and routines of the familiar would help me answer questions that would lead to my true happiness.
One blog that I follow and a girl who has really inspired me is Morgan at www.goodmorningflamingo.com. A recent post she wrote really hit home:
All Lies Within
“We are naturally connected to our souls as children but we learn to disconnect. We are taught to quiet the soul and allow the mind to lead.
Break it down, clear it out, build back up and thrive.
I think we will always be on a mission to get closer to our souls. To who we are when no one is around. To really develop exactly what it is that makes us, us. I am a weirdo and I love it. I’m getting weirder by the day and I think it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’m deprogramming my poor little mind and allowing it to flow free and wander and wonder and question and dream. To let go of what was confining me and defining me and keeping me from just being a being.”
Pretty powerful, right?!?! It is people like Morgan that have helped me understand that these thoughts that I have are normal and that I am not alone. That it is okay to question things and to be “different”. That you don’t have to fit the mold that society has created. So, that is what this trip is about for me. To take time to deprogram my mind and tap into what makes my soul sing.
The 2015 Planner I ordered is called the Inner Guide: a 12 month journey to a fulfilling year. One of the first few pages asks 9 questions. I have been thinking and thinking about these questions as I run and ride my bike down here.
- What is most important to you in life?
- What are you most passionate about?
- What brings you the greatest joy and sense of peace?
- What are you holding yourself back from?
- What does a successful life look like to you?
I would think that these answers would come quickly, but the more I think about them, the more I realize that a lot of my answers may be programmed answers. The answers that may seem acceptable to others and even myself. So, I am giving myself some more time before I write the answers permanently into my planner.
I know one thing for certain. I am passionate about living a life on my terms. I life that makes me happy. I life that others may not see as successful. I have learned that you will never make everyone happy no matter what you do, so you might as well make yourself happy. At the end of the day that’s the only person you have to answer to.
Stay tuned for a follow-up on this blog. One that will address my other true passions. For now, the bike and sun are calling my name 🙂