I have made it pretty clear that the transition of our move from North to South was far from smooth. I frequently think back at January and February and think, “I wish my clients could have seen me.” Here’s why. Many of them have this idea that I am an extremely positive person with mental toughness and can take on anything. Why do they think that? Because back up North I created a positive environment and life. My shit was figured out. I had a comfortable home, an amazing community of inspiring, positive people, unbelievable friends, and 2 jobs I loved. I was surrounded by my family and the comforts of a small, country town I lived in my whole life. I had amazing trails and bike routes around me, and even better, a ton of athletes to accompany me on my adventures. I was never alone if I didn’t want to be. I was a phone call and a 5 minute drive away from my parents, who would gladly spark a fire in the back yard for me if I was craving it. I was spoiled. Don’t get me wrong, as I said, I CREATED that life. I’m just saying it was easy to stay positive when everything around me was positive.
However, I knew something needed to change. I knew I had to give up GREAT for INCREDIBLE. I knew to do that I had to change our “home base” to Florida. For so many reasons that we have been plotting, listing, and planning for years, this had to happen.
So, there I was….Starting fresh. No real job. No immediate family. No car. No friends. No home. Well, a home that was unlivable and a disaster due to (poorly done) construction forcing us to live with my in-laws. A body that felt as though it was falling apart, only to match my life. I hit rock bottom. My husband was working 50-60 hour weeks (including holidays) making me feel more alone than ever. Thanksgiving without him. Christmas without him or my family. I was drowning in my own sorrows and not even fighting it. I was, in a weird way, welcoming it. I just let myself feel it. I let myself fall apart and kind of stayed in my own cacoon (a small bedroom in my in-laws).
I reached out to my brother (who is in many ways a soulmate to me) and he said to me, “sometimes you have to fall apart to put the pieces back together and rebuild”. Well, the pieces are slowly coming back together. We are finally living in our own home, and I am now able to see clearly. I’m able to remember why we did this, and how this is the first BIG step into the direction of our dreams.
I mentioned earlier that I wish my clients could have seen me at my worst. I say that not only to show that I can break, but so they can see the importance of having a positive, inspiring support group around you. I know it was such a huge lesson for me, and I am slowly trying to build that village around me down here. I am also staying close to those positive influences back home. One way is by running the MF Facebook page. The other way is by collaborating with friends who have similar desires and visions as me and starting to MAKE A CHANGE IN MY LIFE.
One of the biggest reasons Erik and I made the move down South was so we could have Summers free if we desired. We are in a community that thrives on “Snow Birds” and dies in the Summer. We made the decision to make our income in the winters (in paradise), allowing us Summers for adventure. That’s huge. So huge. Not just to see the World with the Camper, but to also do some amazing things. Hike the Appalachian Trail and Pacific Crest Trail. Bike the East Coast Greenway Trail. I have plans and I am so excited for our future.
Things are turning around. Then, this week a saw a post on Instagram from a High School friend of mine and things got more interesting. You see, this girl is not only traveling and doing amazing things, but she is GIVING BACK! She is making a difference. I have noticed that so many people want to complain about what’s wrong with this world, and very few do anything to make a difference. We so often get caught in our own little bubble and the insanity & craziness of what life has become that we don’t take time to think about what we could do to make the world around us better. Or the Town we live in. Or maybe just the small network around us.
An example: Erik and I walk every morning. We see garbage on the side of the road and will later comment how it’s a shame how there’s so much trash everywhere. Do we ever think to pick up the trash? No! Until we saw a woman one day with a bag and a picker and cleaning the road as she walked! Why did we not think of that? But, guess what? That one woman has now made me want to start doing the same, which in turn may make others. Be the change you wish to see.
Then there’s Kyle’s post:
This post rocked me. I read it to Erik (the same way I read him the post from Kim at So Many Places) and started to cry. I cried because I’m not doing enough. I cried because I want to do more. I cried because I have a friend who is so amazing and it felt SO GOOD to be inspired by someone again. I started to realize that we have shaped our lives in such a way that I now have free time in the Summers to DO MORE! Why just do these amazing adventures for me? Why not combine it by GIVING BACK!
So, I’m excited. So excited. I’m ready to start planning ways to give back. Not just on a large scale, but ….Every. Single. Day. I need to be the change I wish to see. I can do more and so can you. Whether it’s bringing a bag on your next walk and picking up garbage, or donating your shoes to a local charity.
Stay Tuned. The pieces are coming back together and I will rebuild myself better than ever !