Everything in me says I want adventure. My heart aches for travel. I see pictures others post of their adventures and I feel I would give up everything (possessions) for that. It is all I want in this lifetime…adventures, new places, exploring, etc.
However, when I take it a step further, I have to ask myself…are you ready for that? The same way someone goes to an IRONMAN or sees a Millionaire and says, “I want that” but then when they realize all the work that goes into it, it isn’t as glorious. We tend to see things that we desire through false lenses. Hell, isn’t that what Facebook and, even more so, Instagram set up for? We take a picture…most likely the best scenery of the whole day, add saturation, contrast, filters. We crop, add a beautiful quote and call it reality. The picture doesn’t capture the smells, the noises, the heat, the cold, the mosquitos, the fear, the anger, the sadness that may surround that photo.
So, as I am admiring other people’s adventures I have to ask myself, what is the reality of that picture? And most of the time the REALITY is not something I am ready for. While I feel like my heart aches for adventure, I know that mentally I am not ready for those crazy adventures (yet). Here’s why: I am a bit neurotic. Ok, very neurotic. I blame it on Howard Stern. Really…he has made me so much worse. I worry about germs. A LOT! I worry about food and how it’s being handled and cooked. I worry about sleep. I worry about safety, especially in other countries. I get easily annoyed by others who do not respect other humans and our planet. I hate not having control. I don’t do well with not having a plan because I am obsessed with making sure we are hitting the best places and things in the area.
So, now you see my battle. I want to act on the free spirit soul I know that is within me, but I have some work to do. SO, guess what? I am doing that work. I am working with my best friend who works with mind training, and I am going to work hard to LET THAT SHIT GO! I want to go on these adventures I have planned and not stress the whole time about sitting on a nasty bus or train filled with germs, or eating from a restaurant that doesn’t look clean. I don’t want to worry about if a local kid kisses my cheek if I will get a disease. Or if I take a wrong turn if I will be taken by a gang. These are seriously my fears. Howard Stern tells “me” every time he hears a report of a news woman or a hiker getting taken or hurt to STAY IN YOUR HOME. “Paint, like I do” he says. And while I love that man like hell, I am ready to see this beautiful world!